8:56 PM
Saturday
Don't put stress pls~!!
Why we should care so much what other people say of us??
Is it by their words are judging how our life should going to be??
Is it important to know how much rates that you have in other people's impression??
Yes, i understand giving good impression to other is a must
but not all the things we do must hearing to what other people thought and mouth!!
Do we live by other people words and thinking??
I'm freaking tired on how to made or change people's mind and thought to think only good about us~
Sorry, I'm felt very stressfull and pathetic to be living in that way~
Hey, I live my life for myself and God only..
and not other people's mouth to judge my life should be~
Because you don't know how my journey of life is about..
and you have no right od doing so cause this my life and not YOU!!
Is how I'm going to make it to be as long as I know what is right for me and
understand what I'm doing not hurting other and that's enough!!
Well, is not to be say that I'm proud can be living for myslelf and I do not need anyone else..
NOT!!! I'm not thinking of that way pls~!!
I will aprreciate for everyone's advices because there is no perfect man living in this world..
Human tend to make mistakes and wrongs and so do I am~
I'm no longer a kids anymore and I'm growing up to be a part of aldult now..
There is alot of things I still need to learn and there is alot of mistakes I still need time to change~
Change to be better person and also a sucessful woman in one day~!! hope so!! hahaa
For what I'm writing here is all just a way to release my feeling only~
I know my blog seem to be complicated and I blog to whatever what I want~
You have no right to judge the content in it because you din understand & know me well~
So, there is no offend to anyone cause I believe different people have different of minds..
Therefore, respect what I feel, thought, words before saying anythings of me~
and remember there are noone could get through inside my heart,
because if you do you will feel and see that I'm not what I am from here~
Sorry to say that I can't~
Is not I unwilling to, just I felt it contain with all my memories
and seriously it reminds me alot of things~
Pls don't force me again~!! ='(
7:17 PM
Wednesday
I'm STUCK!!! Help~
Is it a good way to do things that everyone is agree-ing with you but you dislike it so much?
I just always get stuck by this two issue~
Can someone help me to get out with that??
There are many things that you think is right,
but other may not agree with you~
Sometimes, I was doubted about my own life..
I was too fear, I was too scare, I was too afraid, I was too weak
and YES!! I still a coward~
Yet, I unable to make any perfect decision to my own life~
What the useless me??
I understand there many things that you still can turn back
after you had learn from mistake~
But there are some of the things you cant even turn back
once you had made wrong mistake!!
Tell me where should I belong to in my life..
And we cant predict what our future it is and how we going made it to be..
But I do hope someone can just show me the righteousness
so that I will not do regret~
Cause I was too tired to guess it
and exhausted to fight over the same problems for everytimes~
ANSWER ME!!!
11:09 AM
Monday
A Mistake!!
I really couldn't stand it anymore..
I had tried my best to change it like what you want me to be..
I really do, I really wish you could see my changes..
But why you like to mention about it again..
You know I hate it very much and you want to say it~!!
Now is what wrong??!!!
Like I commit all the crime and there is no way to turn back is it??
Ya, I admit I did very wrong last time
and it doesn't mean I do not regret and do not conscious about it again!!
Everyone is doing mistake and I understand I had done a very serious mistake..
And I do get my punishment for the consequences that I had been done!!
Till now I haven and never forget the way you treat me
eventhough it had been past for long time~
How I struggled my life during that moment??!! Tell you it's totally suck~
I bet no one know my feeling and no one see my pain and tears..
and I still smile to everyone that I'm alright but deep inside my heart is totally broken..
No choice and I had to keep it all by myself and alone~
Just wishing and waiting someone can see through my pain..
Ya, it hard to go through it and I manage to get rid over it at last~
Anyways, thanks for making me stronger and tougher now..
and I was not like my before anymore~A soft-heart girl!!
and not ever let something or someone that doesn't worth my single tears!!
Perhaps, it's a good lesson for me to deal the next of my life..
Here I really wish you could see what I doing now~
Just wanna to tell you I will tried my best to change everything..
To better one~
and let you to be proud of once again~XD
9:34 AM
Tuesday
The Last Day at my Sweet Home~
Accidentally found these photos in my new lappie before I leaving..
Taken with my mum & sis~
Those picture already several months ago~
Well Well.. I know it had been so long for me to post it~
So what?
At least, it still a little part & memory for me with my family..
And it just so sweet and funny!!
Hahahaaa~
Smile Smile~
A Big Kiss~
Mum is so excited with the big spec~
Hmmmphh~
The last kiss for my mum~
9:32 AM
123................ EXPLODE!!!
I don't know when I'm going to explode..
but my head was spinning so fast now
and my vision was getting blur and blur..
I couldn't see the things and think properly right now!! WTH!!
So many things burst out in one time
made me dunno which way should I do right now~
EXTREME HEADACHE NOW!!!
Two weeks more to go for final exam
and I haven finished prepared it yet.. gosh!!!
My brain just couldn't get concentrate and focus on my books..
Keep sleeping and eat a lot.. I felt so guilty right now
and what the hell happened with me???
I just like standing on a wave and totally no motivation at all!!
Something distract my feeling even more and now getting worst..
Can I just run away and said bye-bye so that I no need to face it?? CAN?
Nothing can say anymore and the feeling was suck now..
Need to get back my mind on lab quiz this thursday..
Hmmphh, said want to practice this afternoon but haven start with it and even touch it!!
Die liao!!! Facebook really killed me alot and alot~
I think I really need to hide my laptop for few weeks
until I finish my revision for final exam~
If not, I will stick on the laptop and browsing rubbish stuff in internet
till I neglect that I still have book and exam to be done!!!
In the end my study was 0%~!!!!!
LOL!!! This really was a serious case!!!
Maybe will stop blogging and fb-ing until after final exam gua?? hehe
Alrtite, won't talk much and gonna back to study liaw..
Jia you Joan =)
11:11 AM
Thursday
No one want an ENDING~!!!!
一开始我们就已经知道不会有结局了，
一开始我们就已经选择要曾经拥有了，
一开始我们就知道结局会是难分难舍，
但一开始，
我们都不知道我们会爱上了...
很多事情在自己的心中早已有了一个答案，
不知道，不去看，不去想只是不肯承认，
因为都知道结局可能不是自己真的想要的，
装作是什么都不知道至少也过得开心点吧，
结局不是最重要，
但却是我们追求的意义,
没有结局，
何来过程，
少了一个目标，
又该如何前进呢？
有谁敢说谁喜欢分手的感觉，
可哪段爱不会分手？
又有谁会因为知道爱情没有结局而就不去爱了呢？
在乎曾经拥有只是因为自己知道没有天长地久了，
如果连曾经拥有都放下了，
那就是什么都没有了。
如果可以选择结局，
又有谁会去选择曾经拥有呢？
爱，
本来就是先知而后行，
但没爱过又怎么知道？
爱情的理论向来就是一种听起来很有道理，
可做出来的效果却和一切的理论背道而驰的，
矛盾永远都充数着爱情，
爱情离不开两极，
最初想要记得他的一切，
最终想要忘了他的一切，
可以让你笑的人，
也有能力让你哭，
可以让你爱的人，
也有可能让你恨，
总说要找个对的人，
但总是爱上错的人，
一开始说要天长地久，
最后却说只在乎拥有，
分手前说他是最后一个，
分手后他只是其中一个....
人，
总是喜欢盲目地找寻一个不属于自己的幸福，
为了找寻幸福而为自己带来了更多的不幸福，
或许幸福就是需要有点东西垫着底吧，
看着别人的不幸，
才会觉得自己有多幸福，
看见身边的人好，
就算自己再幸福也觉得自己不幸...
幸福就是急流中的流水，
看得见，摸得着，却留不住，
幸福就像流水一样，
水流过了就再也找不回同样一滴水了，
但值得欣慰的是，
上流而下的水依然还在，
幸福依然还在，
只是你看得见吗？看见了，又把握了吗？
如果你执意要找寻那找不回的幸福，
你永远也不会幸福，
除非你追求的是找寻那段幸福的过程，
而不是结局...
结局，
永远都只是为了过程而设下的一个终点，
结局不一定是美好的，
至少每个人的结局（死亡）
已经证明了这一点，
我们都已经知道结局了，
但我们还是继续地生活下去，
哪怕一丝丝可能的存在，
也不愿放弃我们的生命，
这就是一种过程了，
一种教你如何面对不好结局的一种形式，
让你可以在结局时，
觉得自己没有遗憾了，
有些人领悟了，
有些人却是到了结局还不能了解...
爱情，
也是一样的...结局永远都是不美满的，
但不同的人，对待同样的结局，
却有不一样的说法,
你要成为笑着一个接受结局，
还是哭着想要改写结局的人呢？
结局是一种领悟，
过程是一种学习，
如果少了一颗学习的心，
就算有再大的领悟，
你始终都不能掌握那一份领悟的...
1:28 AM
A Girl's Dream
I won't mind whether you're rich or a millionaire,
I only care that you how whether you willing to work hard
to change the circumstances..
I won't mind how much troubles we facing when together,
I just care whether you able to face it bravely, not avoid it!!
I won't mind your appearance and your looking,
whether you're handsome or not..
I only care whether you can give me enough secure and safe
whenever I'm by your side~
I won't mind how many a girl-friends that you have and surround you..
I only care whether you could put me in the first place
than others in your heart
and not afraid to show them
that I'm the only one that you want to be with..
I won't mind how big and far is your dream is..
I only care whether you're honest person
and willing to learn from the begin
in order to achieve the goals..
I won't mind if you seldom have time to accompany me,
As long as, I am in your heart and think of me whenever you miss me
is already more than enough..
I won't mind if you're not such a romantic person..
To me, I more care the heart whether I could truly feel your love from you
and you will never stop to show your love toward me!!
I won't mind how big satisfy that you want to fulfill me
such as materials or things or $$$..
I more concern every single words that you said
and anything that you do is truly mean to your heart
and your love is more greater than anything else!!
I won't mind the cost and the value of the present that you give to me..
But I more care the little surprise that you can do
even it's a simple actions or words
which already mean enough to made my day!!
It's the most sweet things for remembrance=)
I won't mind how close and intimacy when we're together..
I just care whether you're a responsible one or not!!
I won't mind how bitter and difficult life when I'm together with you..
but I only care whether I'm the only person to spend with you in the end..
I won't worry the happy things that you share with me..
And I'm more care whether I able to carry
and help to lighten of your problems that you facing..
I won't mind what kind of situation are you in either is good or bad..
I only care what you able to give me in the future!!!
"I think this what all the girl want include me..
It just said so right & true to express every feeling
from the girl toward the guys..
I know it's always not easy to find *the person* that
truly love and right for you
and I surely won't you let go if I had found this feeling!!" *wink* ;)
~Mi$$ Kessler XOXO
